ORTHODIXIE ... Southern, Orthodox, Convert, Etc.

Below are the hyper-linked blog titles, AFR blurbs, and links (pop-up & direct) to the 2008 Orthodixie Podcasts on Ancient Faith Radio. It's been a fun year; I appreciate your support, emails, and comments.

Thanks for listening!


January 5 - House Blessing at Mr. Potato Head’s

Theophany and House Blessings. What happens in the service, in our homes, and in our lives.

[Click here to listen in pop-up; or here to listen via direct link.]


January 11 - My Cup (of Joe) Runneth Over

A brief history of the coffee hour, with some suggestions about how best to use the time as you sip your morning brew!

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January 18 - Hello Jiddo, Hello Yaya

No matter what you call your grandparents, go to Church Camp, write home, and beware the Mama Eater.

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January 26 - Nojoyatall

Fr Joseph, with help from Fr Thomas Hopko and Elder Porphyrios, delves into the malady known as Nojoyatall.

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February 1 - Your Day, On The Floor ... Jelly Side Up

Fr Joseph reviews the rules of life, particularly Murphy's Law and its variants, and and then provides us with a rule we can all live with.

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February 9 - Orthodoxy in Dixie

This week’s Podcast is taken from the book, "One Flew Over the Onion Dome" – any similarities to your own parish, bishop or jurisdiction is purely intentional. Orthodoxy not available in all states. In your area, it may only be available in a foreign language – in which case, your mileage may vary …

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February 15 - Without Love, It’s All Just Peas and Carrots

Miss Jane gets a tongue lashing, Mr. Bodine speaks in tongues. Things go dark as Fr. Joseph interviews Dr. Indadark. In the end, lacking the main ingredient, it's all just peas and carrots. Suffice it to say: Love covers a multitude of podcasts.

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February 22 - Reality: The First Step Toward Salvation

This week, Fr Joseph gets real: "The thing about Confession is that it is natural. That is, it is Real. Almost everything else we do with our sin is false and unnatural. We punish ourselves, justify our actions, and hide. Yet, in Confession -- in opening ourselves to God the Light -- we expose the hypocrisy of our double life. In truth, we've been living a lie. Without Confession, Absolution, and Reconciliation we live a lie before God and Man as if it were Reality. In reality, no one is fooled -- not our neighbor, not ourselves. And, let's be real, certainly not God."

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February 29 - Fasting Songs

Ladies & Gentlemen, prepare yourself, it’s almost that time; time to cue your favorite theme song for the upcoming Lenten Fast! Perhaps the theme song from Star Wars? Or maybe we could sing a fasting song, during this election year, to the tune of "Hail to the Chief?" Then again, there’s always the Beverly Hillbillies ...

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March 7 - Two Miles ‘til Pascha

Fr Joseph reveals one of his Lenten pet peeves: “Do the best you can.” Do the best you can? Now brothers and sisters, that’s a recipe for failure. Heck, sinner that I am, the best I can is what has got me to where I am! We don’t give an inexperienced bunch of players a ball – with no practice whatsoever – and say, “Okay, it’s game time. Do the best you can.” No. We practice and practice and practice. We fall down, get back up; struggle to do better.

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March 15 - Fasters Anonymous ala Gilligan’s Isle

Fr Joseph, struggling toward humility in the first week of the Fast, tells of his first visit to Fasters Anonymous ... and their curious theme song.

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March 22 - The Healing of Yuck

Much like the pains of labor endured by a mother bearing a child, sometimes our journey back to healing is a painful one. And yet, the joy that comes with the new birth is far greater -- inexplicably greater -- than that which our cold heart endured. In the meantime, we must begin where we are.

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March 29 - What Kind Of Fool Are You?

Fr Joseph quotes Chicago, Kevorkian, Ben Franklin, St Paul and Hallmark in making a case for April Fools.

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April 4 - Happy ... EIEIO!

Letters have been pouring into the Orthodixie headquarters over the past week, many of them dealing with what can only be said and not written. You’ve all no doubt heard it, it is pronounced ******** (or EIEIO). Fr Joseph tries to allay fears [of EIEIO] while assuring us that "this, too, shall pass."

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April 12 - A Funny Thing, Sex

Fr. Joseph's way of saying, "Pardon me while I slip into something a little more... serious."

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April 19 - Here Comes Peter Cottontail?

So tell us, Father Joseph-- just how did the Resurrection of our Lord get mixed up with bunnies, chocolate and eggs?

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April 27 - Past Fast

Fr. Joseph reports on this year’s Lenten Superlative Awards Banquet at St. Kismet in Gethsemane Falls. Last year’s gala saw a total of 13 awards being presented to the best and worst participants in the Great Fast. This year's big celeb is, ahem, a no brainer!

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May 3 - Do You Have What It Takes?

Fr. Joseph encounters Bible floppers, hip-hoppers, and mountain toppers in his quest to discover ... What It Takes.

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May 9 - “He’s in a better place” ... than Dixie?

Fr. Joseph tackles the subject of "place" -- where we come from and where we're headed. Your departed mom, your dad, sister, brother or spouse: they are on that mysterious journey. It’s only a better place if Love is there … let’s pray that includes all of us.

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May 17 - Joy Comes in the Mourning (Dove)

Fr. Joseph recounts holding Easter colored chicks... holding a BB gun, his eye on a sparrow... and later, standing outside in the rain wearing a ball cap, oven mitts and holding a napkin-covered lacrosse stick, chanting, "Here birdie, birdie, birdie." Yes, this week's podcast is for the birds.

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May 24 - The Ear Bird (The Angel Cried) Gets the Worm

Fr. Joseph tells of his recent visit to a psychiatrist and his annual struggle with The Guess Who.

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May 31 - Ortho-Man!

Due to some pretty sweet connections, Fr. Joseph is allowed a peek at the upcoming summer blockbuster, ORTHO-MAN! Is there a role for Acrivia Man? Economia Man? What would an Orthodox superhero wear? Was Popeye Greek Orthodox? Some answers, and some questions begging your help, all in this week's podcast.

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June 6 - Ortho-Man And The Confusion of Tongues

In this week's Ortho-Man sequel, Fr. Joseph can't understand the movie, gets knocked out, smells garlic, dreams of Popeye, quotes St Nicholai of Zica and ponders the mysterious identity of Psssst Man.

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June 14 - Ortho-Man & the Riddle of the Psssssst!

In the third and final episode of Ortho-Man, Fr. Joseph is led down a dark hallway by a mysterious stranger who reveals to him the similarities of Underdog, Batman, Pink Panther, Indiana Jones, Buzz Lightyear and ... Ortho-Man.

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June 21 - Bless Your Heart - Smallah, Smallah, Smallah

What do you get when you mix the language and culture of the South with the long and rich heritage of the "Old Country?" Get ready to smile in this encore presentation!

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June 28 - Jesus Loves You (But)

Actions speak louder than words. Some words acquire different meanings depending on context. And love, well, love changes everything. But ...

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July 13 - Gotta Go To Camp Now

Fr. John Monto joins Fr. Joseph Huneycutt for a week at Camp St Raphael. This week's podcast offers an audio snapshot -- including the soon-to-be-classic "DOWAMA Don't Let Your Campers Grow Up to be Clergy" and the new smash hit, "Gotta Go To Camp Now." Enjoy!

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July 19 - Recalculating Our GPS

Is there virtue in being lost? Not exactly. Then again, being found is only worthy when the Finder is the Hound that loves you. Fr. Joseph's sense of direction is a little different (i.e., nonexistent). Truth is, most of the time, he doesn't know where he is.

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July 26 - Help! There’s An Iconostasis In My Living Room

You know how strange dreams can be when you're not sleeping in your own bed? Well, this one ranks up there with the strangest. But, Fr. Joseph has a very practical application in this "Best Of" Orthodixie podcast.

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August 2 - An Empty Church Is A Peaceful Church

Listen to this exclusive encore "interview" with the author of a book (wink, wink) on proper church etiquette.

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August 9 - Expect a Miracle!

From Oral Roberts to Black Oak Arkansas, strange things happen. Whoa! There goes Uncle Ernie runnin' 'round the church! Then, there's bread and wine. Oh, you'll just have to listen (no interpretation necessary).

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August 18 - Me - Adam, You - Helpmeet

This week's podcast features snippets from "The Newlywed Game" taken from a Couples Retreat at St Joseph Antiochian Orthodox Church in Houston, Texas.

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August 23 - Who’s in Your Icon Corner?

Icon Corners can be like a family scrapbook -- and, God willing, vice versa. While moving the family prayer corner, Fr. Joseph remembers prayers answered through the intercessions of the Saints.

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August 30 - The Xenia, Galina, Coinkydink

We've all heard "Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous." Fr. Joseph finds that hard to believe. Then again, some things which are hard to explain serve as cures for our unbelief. Is that by coincidence?

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September 6 - The Handicapped Convert

While "rugged individualism" may be a cultural trait, it sure won't save you; and although blindness is a serious handicap, Converts may insist on being in the driver's seat. Whether we want it or not, American Orthodox Converts need help.

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September 17 - The Ike & Rita (“Turners”) Review

This week's episode, not nearly as exciting as visuals of a major hurricane slamming a major city, is a personal reflection on former Houston guests: Gustav, Katrina, Ike and Rita.

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September 18 - Orthodoxy: Christianity, Just Harder

Interviews and arguments, struggles and slogans, one thing's certain: Orthodoxy ain't easy -- and that's no small thing. Or, is it?

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October 5 - Mr. B. Al Zeebop, Orthodox Christian Anarchist

From rumors and whispering campaigns, to flattery and praise, the Church is able to weather any storm. However, the temptations may prove too much for the fair-weather (or even the foul-weather) faithful laity and clergy. In this episode, Fr. Joseph meets Mr. B. Al "Buba" Zeebop and his devilish operation.

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October 11 - The Frost Is On The Pumpkin

Has the latest news about the election, international struggles and the economy got you down? Well, take heart and fear not -- for the frost, my friends, is on the pumpkin!

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October 25 - Putting the Fun in Dysfunction Since AD 33

Fr. Joseph delivers a brief newscast (sponsored by e-Hirearchy.com®) featuring Orthodox stories from around the country including this week's Person of the Week.

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November 2 - Daylight Saviour Time

What time is it anyway? In this classic podcast from the last time we set our clocks back, Fr. Joseph reflects on our obsession with time as a culture and the impact it has on our priorities.

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November 8 - Letters From The Old Country

This week, Fr Joseph answers questions from AFR listeners. Topics include: annoying Orthodox phrases, wicked political emails, Palestine, women's ordination, and Waffle House.

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November 15 - A Tooth, A Truck And A (Paffhausen)

What does a root canal, a story from Greek mythology and the OCA have in common?

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November 22 - Much Ado About Despota

Nothing excites a priest quite like a Bishop's visit, and you just never know what a Bishop might say. For instance, how would you answer the question: "Will there be only Christians in heaven?"

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December 1 - Here Comes Santa!

In this encore presentation, Fr. Joseph talks to us about Santa Claus and his sons-- and his own-- imagination.

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December 6 - Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas ... Carol?

Fr. Joseph joins Sir Paul McCartney, Alvin Chipmunk, José Feliciano and other Wailers in a journey down memory lane -- eschewing the worldly sounds of the season for some really bad (ghostly) percussion moments. Are you prepared?

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December 13 - The Ghost Of Past Christmas Presents

What do Charles Dickens, Buzz Lightyear, Vladimir Lossky, the Carolina Panthers, the Baltimore Colts, Angels, Shepherds, George Frideric Handel and Kawasaki all have in common? Surely to goodness nothing but this podcast! Fr Joseph is visited by another "ghost."

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December 19 - Baby Jesus By The Chimney

In this encore presentation, Fr. Joseph sets out on a search for the Baby Jesus.

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December 27 - Meletios Metaxakis Makes a Maalox Moment

Tackling the differences among the Gregorian, Julian, and Appalachian Calendars concerning the date of Christmas is nothing new -- and can be quite the tongue twister.

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May the Lord bless you and yours in 2009!

Pray for me.
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To the tune of O Tannenbaum (O Christmas Tree) --

Meletios Metaxakis,
Makes a Maalox Moment
Our calendar was growing slow
Brought forth through Ceasar long ago ...

Meletios Metaxakis,
Makes a Maalox Moment
How often these days do we fight
O’er calendars, who’s wrong – who’s right?

Meletios Metaxakis
Makes a Maalox Moment
Our hope and dream will ever be
That calends soon shall all agree.
Meletios Metaxikis ...

ahem!

Okay, a bit of back story ...

The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.

(Or, just listen right here.)

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Ladies and gentlemen, it’s high time that a very sensitive topic was dealt with openly and honestly …

I’m speaking, of course, about REGIFTING.

Oh, come on -- some of you are guilty. You didn’t want that sweatshirt, that cookie jar, that Chia Pet …

So, you did what anyone who doesn’t regularly host yard sales would do. Out of, ahem, love, you turned around and gave that bulky shirt or colored piece of plastic to someone else.

What’s that you say? You’ve never done that?

Then, let me ask you: Have you ever received that odd sweatshirt, cookie jar, or Chia Pet? Yes, well, you are most likely a recipient of regifting.

However, there is one gift that can be regifted over and over again and everyone’s the better – the wiser – for it.

That’s right. I’m speaking here of your charitable gift to the continuing ministry of Ancient Faith Radio.

Someone gave you some money? – your boss, your mom, your neighbor, maybe even your enemy?

They just GAVE it to you?

Well, I’m encouraging you – especially NOW -- to regift it!

Because every dollar you give to the ministry of Ancient Faith Radio between now and December 31st will be doubled (up to $10,0000)!

That’s right …

Regift your money to AFR between now and the end of the year – and that gift will be matched with funds from a generous individual donor -- until AFR reaches the combined total of $20,000!

So, come on! This is guiltless regifting!

Times 2!

Let’s all join together during this holy season and quickly match this gift with whatever amount we’re able to share.

Wishing you and yours a happy & blessed Nativity Season – and, on behalf of Ancient Faith Radio ...

thanking you in advance.

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Honestly, if I fell, backwards, into a black worm hole in outer space, where the celebration of Christmas is not dictated by the rotations of the earth, but by the beta carotene on the skin of one’s teeth, I could not possibly begin to answer your query (given the manner in which it is fashioned) ...

All of us are born in the presence of our mother.

Yet, for Christians, the Church is our Mother; we are (re)born through Her font and therein begins our salvation with our “new family”. “Christianity” is not mentioned at all in the New Testament; “Church” is mentioned 117 times.

“Christmas” is not synonymous with “Birthday” …

I could go on, but prudence hinders; I beg your forgiveness.


The above is a portion of comment left on GetReligion regarding this post, this comment. Suddenly it seems we've all devolved into Jehovah's Witnesses, as witnessed by the following post from a publication out of Chattanooga:


What Would Jesus Think Of Santa?

From what I’ve read of the words that Jesus is reported to have said, and what I gather of his character from the words about him as written up in the Bible, I believe he would be more impressed with the tradition of Santa Claus and the giving of gifts to children than he would be with the rites and rituals associated with the celebration of his birth.

While there is nothing wrong with a believer’s personal remembrance of the birth of Jesus, I suspect that Jesus would feel a little embarrassment over the paganizing of the event and all the humbuggery it evokes from those who insist on reminding the rest how pious and good they are at this time every year.

While Jesus had a lot to say regarding how a person should act, such as going to his closet to pray rather than making a big deal about it in public, he never came close to suggesting that his birth should be celebrated in the heathen manner that the Church has promoted over the centuries and the way it continues to be celebrated today.

It would honor his birth more if we followed his advice, such as the views he expressed in his Sermon on the Mount, than holding on to the pagan practices of staged adoration with all the unnecessary trappings and trimmings that don’t have a thing in the world to do with anything that he preached.

So, it’s Christmas, Dec. 25, a date that the Church claims was the birthday of Jesus, even though there is no way to know the actual date that Jesus was born. Fine. But why prescribe a holiness to any day more than another? I guess it is just what Christians and Jews and Moslems like to do, the same as pagans and heathens and other religions I suppose. They just believe in their holy days because of their religions and traditions.

It’s a sad irony that while we hold Christmas as holy, we don’t allow it to stop us from making war and killing people in great numbers on Christmas and throughout the Christmas season. When it comes to war and killing, every day is the same as another for us. Humanity would be a lot better off if human life was considered holy and any day was just as good as the next.

If Jesus could look down at it all, I’m sure he would be much more pleased with the tradition of Santa giving gifts to the children and all the pleasant happiness that comes from the spirit of giving than he would with all the rites and rituals and sanctimonious observations and humbuggery that the loud preachers and noisy laymen make so much hay and ado over in celebration of his alleged birthday.


Yes, well, there it is.

Sigh.

There's much work to do.
(Mainly on me.)
So from further comment I shall refrain ...
'cept to say:

Christ is Born!

Glorify Him!

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The reason for the Nativity Fast and the festive season of Christmas is: God became flesh. God spoke, and this Word put on humanity that we might put on divinity. Or, as St Athanasius writes, “God became man, that man might become God.” Within the Virgin Mary the Word was clothed with human flesh and Christ was born: God dressed in human flesh.

The first Eve, by her disobedience, bore the fruit of death to Adam, all Mankind. The new Eve, Mary, by her obedience, bears the Fruit of Life, the new Adam, her son and God, to all mankind. This, in a nutshell, is the very heart of our Christian Faith and the reason for the season, so to speak, of Christmas. It represents the difference in the fruit born of disobedience and that brought forth in obedience.

Eve, being a virgin and incorrupt, conceived the word spoken of the serpent, and brought forth disobedience and death. But Mary the Virgin answered, ‘May it be according to Thy word,’ and received faith and grace.*

Jesus, the new Adam – the “new man” – was born in the city of Bethlehem. The word “Bethlehem” means “house of bread.” The new Adam was born in the House of Bread and laid in a Manger, a feeding trough. Many times in the Gospel (eight times in John Chapter 6, alone), Jesus refers to himself as bread. Traditionally, this is reflected in the hymn Orthodox priests recite as they begin the preparation of the bread for Communion:

Make ready, O Bethlehem, for Eden hath been opened for all. Prepare, O Ephratha, for the tree of life hath blossomed forth in the cave from the Virgin; for her womb did appear as a spiritual paradise in which is planted the divine Plant, whereof eating we shall live and not die as Adam. Christ shall be born, raising the image that fell of old.**

In the fullness of time, God chose a young maiden in Nazareth to be both bride and mother. The Virgin Mary was deemed worthy of this highest calling by her faithfulness and chastity. Whereas Adam named his wife Eve, the mother of the living, God has made Mary the Mother of all Christians. Whereas all the living are kin to Adam through his blood and sin, all Christians are kin to Christ, the New Adam, through His Blood and faithfulness. St. Paul writes:

So before faith came, we were confined under the law, kept under restraint until faith should be revealed. So that the law was our custodian until Christ came, that we might be justified by faith, we are no longer under a custodian; for in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ (Galatians 3:27).

It is only in being clothed in Christ that we can be in a right relationship with God. Christ clothed himself in humanity that we might be clothed in righteousness. Before Christ, there was the Law. With Christ, there is no other way to stand in a right (just) relationship with God lest we be clothed in Christ. Just as our Lady the Most Holy Theotokos answered “Be it unto me according to thy word,” we, too, may take on Christ. Through the womb of the baptismal font we are born anew in Christ – marked, clothed as His own forever. Like the Mother of God before us, having been born anew in Christ, being justified by faith, we may bear Christ to the world.***

So, brothers and sisters -- clothed in Christ, during the preparatory season of the Nativity Fast, let us love one another with the same love that receives the King of Glory and wraps Him in swaddling cloths (Luke 2:12). The perfect gift cannot be found in the mall, but in the manger. The perfect gift, God is! God clothed Himself in our flesh for our salvation. The manger is a feeding trough and God is now our food. So let us prepare with eyes of faith to see the King of Glory, God in human flesh, in the manger – the chalice of our salvation! Let us receive Him into our hearts as once did Mary. Let us partake of this heavenly food and rejoice! “Let your priests be clothed with righteousness. Let your saints shout for joy!” (Psalm 132:9).

* - Joanna Manley, The Lament of Eve (Menlo Park, California: Monastery Books, 1993) #37, p.82.

** - Bishop Basil [Essey], comp., The Liturgikon - The Book of Divine Services for the Priest and Deacon, 2nd ed. (Englewood, New Jersey: Antakya Press, 1994), p.245.

*** - Portions of this Post taken from DEFEATING SIN - Overcoming Our Passions and Changing Forever, published by Regina Orthodox Press.

Prothesis Table, where the bread is prepared, St John the Baptist Russian Orthodox Cathedral, Washington, DC - Image Source
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Still haven't sent those Nativity greeting cards?

Just in time; you are safe!

-- Thanks to the Holy Dormition of the Theotokos Monastery, Hamatoura, Lebanon.



Check it out H E R E.

Thanks to FWD from Aaron Friar.

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Just catching up on some stuff, having returned from a weekend at Holy Archangels Monastery, a few things caught my eye:

General Motors, like the other two geezers of the Old Three, is a vast retirement home with a small money-losing auto subsidiary. The UAW is AARP in an Edsel: It has three times as many retirees and widows as "workers" (I use the term loosely). GM has 96,000 employees but provides health benefits to a million people.

The whole Mark Steyn here.

Breaking News -- Jan Bear updated her blog!

If Christmas is not the beyond-strange act of a Creator breaking and entering His creation, passing as a weak and helpless creature beset by enemies, but instead is only a sort of Hallmark special, a cosmological Thomas Kincaide painting, then to hell with it.

More.

And now -- who'd a thunk the Orthodox could do this? -- here's The Good News (tract).

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Here's a personal favorite from the Orthodixie AFR-chives.

Enjoy!

Did you read about that Baby Jesus that was recently stolen from someone’s yard?

Well, I decided to do something about it. I became an Investigator.

The other day I went door-to-door in my neighborhood in search of … Baby Jesus.

My first stop was the home of Minerva Simmons, aged 73, on Tomball Drive. She’s the owner of the giant Crèche scene … You know with the big plastic light-up Mary & Joseph, Wise Men, Manger, and the optional Star on a Pole …

As I pulled into her driveway it was crystal clear that something – Someone – was missing … the Manger was empty. It was just a cradle for hay. Yep, Baby Jesus, MFM (missing from manger).

(In the place where the plastic body normally lay was a sign that read: “Have you seen me?” – with a picture of Baby Jesus … well, you know what I mean.)

Friends, I’ll spare you further details but, Mrs Simmons was devastated. This plastic Baby Jesus had been in their family since the 1970s when her kids were young. It meant the world to her.

Silly me, I don’t know why but, I asked her if it had been made in China. She said, “No, Malaysia.” Malaysia is, of course, predominantly Muslim – and I briefly contemplated them naming a plastic baby JESUS as opposed to a stuffed Teddy bear named … oh, never mind.

But that wasn’t the strangest part of my day! After getting a good description of the Missing Plastic Jesus, I moseyed on over to ...

The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.

(Or, just listen to Baby Jesus by the Chimney right here.)

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Some have informed me that they followed my plug for AMAZON's deal on One Flew Over the Onion Dome only to find that it is currently out of stock.

No problem!

Send me an email [orthodixie at aol dot com] -- including your U.S. snail addy -- and I'll get One Flew Over the Onion Dome out to you (same super-saver-price) ASAP!
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This life is neither a joke nor a plaything, although men may turn it into either. They fritter away the time given to us to prepare for eternity, disporting themselves with empty words. They go about visiting, sitting and gossipping, playing this or that game. They get together in the theatres and amuse themselves there. Life is, for them, amusement. But woe to those who do nothing but amuse themselves.

-- St John of Kronstadt

Taken from Fr Josiah's blog.
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In Bishop HILARION's e-publication Europaica the following new statistics of the Russian Orthodox Church are reported:

"The number of churches and chapels acting in Moscow has increased from 851 to 872 since December 2007, Metropolitan Yuvenaly of Krutistsy and Kolomna told a meeting of the capital’s clergy in the Cathedral of Christ the Savior. He also cited the data saying that about 1,838 clergymen are working in the capital today (last year their number equaled to 1,770). The Russian Orthodox Church has 157 dioceses (compared to 142 last year), 203 bishops including 149 ruling bishops and 48 vicar bishops. The total number of clergy in the Russian Church equals to 30,670. The number of Sunday schools in the dioceses increased by one thousand – from 10,141 to 11,051 while the number of parishes has grown from 27,942 to 29,268. Today the Russian Orthodox Church has 804 monasteries, including 142 monasteries and 153 nunneries in the CIS-countries and three monasteries and three nunneries in foreign countries. Also functioning are 203 representations (metochia) and 65 hermitages. Besides, there are 25 stauropegial monasteries (under direct subordination to the patriarch). The Russian Church Abroad has 16 monasteries and 9 nunneries. The number of Russian Orthodox theological schools equals to 87."

For a free subscription to Europaica, go here.

Taken from the daily email of the DOWAMA Clergy Brotherhood.

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Though more than a year old, this story is timeless. Thanks to Margo Elgohary for the FWD.

PITTSBURGH – Strong safety Troy Polamalu has become known around the Pittsburgh Steelers as the last guy out of the locker room on Sundays after home games. All of his teammates are long gone and even most of the equipment guys have cleared out by the time he emerges. Polamalu goes through a detailed process, including a dip in a cold tub and a lengthy shower to relax after a hard-hitting afternoon.

However, for a guy who doesn't seem to be in a hurry to leave, Polamalu does put a serious priority on his time away from the field with his wife, Theodora, the sister of Polamalu's former USC teammate Alex Holmes.

Polamalu took some after Sunday's [Sept '07] win over the San Francisco 49ers to engage in a Q&A with Yahoo! Sports.

Cole: Do you have a routine you follow on your day off?

Polamalu: We work out together because that's our only day off together. It's a pretty decent workout. She does a lot of running and I do a lot of stretching. Tuesday is also our only opportunity to go to church together, so we do that.

Cole: When and where do you go?

Polamalu: It starts at 8:30 (a.m.). … It's the Nativity of the Theotokos monastery (in Saxonburg, Pa.).

Cole: I know you're devoutly Christian (Polamalu has a carefully arranged series of religious items in his locker at Heinz Field), but exactly which denomination?

Polamalu: Greek Orthodox. Theotokos literally means the Mother of God.

Cole: How long are you in services?

Polamalu: They usually go to about 12:30.

Cole: That's a four-hour service. Is that a normal service?

Polamalu: Pretty much, especially at a monastery.

Cole: Can you describe it?

Polamalu: What's really neat about the Orthodox church is that it's like walking back in time 2,000 years to the time of the Apostles, when they created these services. You walk into that and it's really like … living it. They have maintained the truth ever since the beginning.

Cole: You're Polynesian. How did you end up at a Greek Orthodox church?

Polamalu: There are different ethnicities, like Russian Orthodox. My wife is Greek. I was a non-denomination Christian before we got married. So we sit around there and meet with our spiritual mother and then we go home, maybe take a nap, work out and then go home and have dinner.

Cole: Who's making dinner?

Polamalu: My wife; I cannot cook at all. I've tried. I'm terrible. When I cook, it's something nobody else would enjoy.

Cole: You only cook specialty things for yourself?

Polamalu: No, it's not that nobody else will make it for me, it's that I'm the only one who is going to enjoy it. I'll look at the other people and say, "Did you like it?" They say, "Noooooooo."

Cole: Do you have any other hobbies or things you do away from the field? Maybe bowling?

Polamalu: No, not really. The single guys go bowl. The guys who are married go home, mostly. I really focus on spending time with my wife.

Cole: How hard is it to get time at home during the season? I know guys like (Miami Dolphins linebacker) Zach Thomas stay at the facility until very late studying film and (Indianapolis Colts quarterback) Peyton Manning is watching film at home.

Polamalu: First of all, I'm a Christian so my prayer life really comes first. Second of all, I'm a husband so my wife comes before anything else. If I have time to do anything else after that, I do it, but I don't sacrifice any time with her.

Cole: A lot of guys do it the other way around. Football comes first. They say family and faith come first, but they really do the football first. How do you reconcile it?

Polamalu: It's really easy for me. I love my faith and I know that's first. …. I really think I know what's important in my life and that's my faith and my wife.

Cole: So football is a really focused activity. There's no wasted time, right?

Polamalu: Actually, it's a lot of fun and it's something I enjoy. It's not like when I'm here it's business time and then there's family time. Football is, for me, it's something I do. It's like for you, you're a reporter. It's what you do, not who you are. Football does not define me. How I am with my faith and how I treat my wife is what truly defines you as a man. That is my goal in life to live that way and believe in it. It would be cowardly of me to say that I enjoy my time with my faith and my wife if I really didn't spend that time with them.

The rest - here.
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In last week’s episode of the Orthodixie Podcast I was unwittingly put to sleep by one of the worst Christmas songs of all time … Paul McCartney’s Wonderful Christmas Time.

In my slumber I was visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past.

(Then, strangely, there was Bob Marley’s Ghost.)

Naturally, believing I was experiencing my own twisted version of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, I expected the second of three spirits to soon follow …

The Ghost of Christmas Present.

SO … there I was all tucked in bed early last Monday night – reading a book, The Island of the Day Before, by Umberto Eco, when I could no longer keep my eyes open (there are side benefits to reading Eco, sorta like reading Vladimir Lossky’s Mystical Theology of the Eastern Church, you are guaranteed to get to sleep – and how! Don’t get me wrong, Lossky’s classic is one of my favorite books – but, as I tell everyone, you end up reading it 3 times before you finish it the first time, because each night you forget you already read that page the night before, just before you fell asleep.)

ANYWAY … it was 9:30 Central Time when I fell asleep.

Only to be awakened by a shrill cry!

Oh my!

I roused myself from my bed of slumber only to see that lights were still on in the house and, staggering toward the bedroom door, I saw that it was only 10:30 …

I hastened down the hall, and around the corner, to ...

The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.

(Or, just listen right here.)

Image Source
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Those, dear friends, are snowflakes ...

click pic to enlarge

in Houston, Texas.

When I was a kid, I always called my Grandma to tell her it was snowing. She loved the snow.

You know what?

She still does.

I called her on my way home from church this afternoon.

(Her great-grands are pictured at left.)
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Today being the Orthodox Feast of the Conception of the Theotokos (and yesterday, having been the Roman Catholic Feast of the Immaculate Conception) -- here's a post from a couple years back:

We love Mary so much we made her blond! Don't gasp, there is a tradition within the West of the Virgin Mary being honored with blond hair.

(Pic, above left, is of the altar at the Anglo-Catholic Parish of St Mary, Grove Park, Asheville, North Carolina.)

Yesterday [10/2006], a blog commenter first posted a quote of mine, then responded, and repeated the process. He's referring to this old post. New comments follow ...

ME: "In short, Orthodox believe that Mary was conceived just as any other is conceived; the Immaculate Conception is not a 'dogma' of the Orthodox Church."

COMMENTER: I, too, believe that Mary was conceived in the same way as other people. Such is the teaching of the Catholic Church. However, we don't believe that Mary inherited alienation from God as other people do. The difference is in the effects of conception, not in how it came about.

Now, Orthodox tell me that Mary was conceived in a state of alienation from God. However, they celebrate her conception and birth. Why would you celebrate her conception and birth, if she wasn't already a saint (thus no alienation from God present within her)? This appears like a contradiction to me.

ME: "Perhaps I am misunderstanding your use of 'grace.'"

COMMENTER: By "grace" here, I mean no more than the presence of God in the soul of Mary at her conception, allowing her to be in union with God (or "born again") from the first moment of her existence.

In poking around for a reply, I actually came upon some statements from a Roman Catholic priest that said, and I paraphrase: "But wait! We love the Blessed Virgin so much -- The Immaculate Conception has to be true!"

And that's fine. It's just not Orthodox.

From other sources ...

Why don't Orthodox believe in the Immaculate Conception?

Mary (like all of us) was born mortal as a result of the Fall, but without Adam's guilt. But for Roman Catholics, a "special" birth for Mary was necessary so that Christ could be born to a spotless vessel. So the Immaculate Conception is a natural consequence of the Augustinian doctrine of Original Sin in the West, but is not needed in Orthodoxy to explain how mortal Mary could have given birth to her All-Holy Son.

Source


We can refer to Mary as "immaculate" in the sense that her obedience to God was so marked that she may rightly be declared as pure as any sinner might be. Her holiness has never been matched or exceeded. However, we do not believe in the Immaculate Conception as understood in Catholicism. We do not believe that she had to be herself conceived free from any taint of original sin. Our objection, substantially has to do with St. Augustine's characterisation of original sin. As Bishop Kallistos has observed (also John Meyendorff and other Orthodox theologians) ... if we believed what St. Augustine taught about original sin then the Immaculate Conception would be a logical outworking of that in terms of Mary's holiness and obedience. However, since we do not believe that original sin is transmitted sexually, conception is irrelevant to this issue.

Source


While I would love to be able to fully answer your question, it is far beyond the scope of an e-mail, especially because full understanding of the Orthodox position, based on the tenor of your question, on the Virgin Mary requires a thorough explanation of some of the secondary issues to which you refer, such as original sin, the Immaculate Conception, supernatural grace, etc. As such, I would highly recommend that you meet in person with the parish priest at the Orthodox Church you have been visiting -- he will no doubt be glad to answer the question at some depth.

I can say, in short, that the Orthodox Church believes that Mary, as a human being, could indeed have sinned, but chose not to. In the Roman Catholic understanding, it seems that Mary, who according to Roman doctrine had been exempted from the guilt of original sin [the Orthodox do not accept that humans share the guilt of the first sin but, rather, only the consequences] before all eternity, and thus could not have sinned. This is where the complexity comes in on a number of levels and which puts your question beyond the scope of an e-mail.

Source


Even Patriarch Bartholomew:

In consequence, according to the Orthodox faith, Mary the All-holy Mother of God was not conceived exempt from the corruption of original sin, but loved God above of all things and obeyed his commandments, and thus was sanctified by God through Jesus Christ who incarnated himself of her. She obeyed Him like one of the faithful, and addressed herself to Him with a Mother's trust. Her holiness and purity were not blemished by the corruption, handed on to her by original sin as to every man, precisely because she was reborn in Christ like all the saints, sanctified above every saint.

Her reinstatement in the condition prior to the Fall did not necessarily take place at the moment of her conception. We believe that it happened afterwards, as consequence of the progress in her of the action of the uncreated divine grace through the visit of the Holy Spirit, which brought about the conception of the Lord within her, purifying her from every stain.

As already said, original sin weighs on the descendants of Adam and of Eve as corruption, and not as legal responsibility or moral stain. The sin brought hereditary corruption and not a hereditary legal responsibility or a hereditary moral stain. In consequence the All-holy participated in the hereditary corruption, like all mankind, but with her love for God and her purity -- understood as an imperturbable and unhesitating dedication of her love to God alone -- she succeeded, through the grace of God, in sanctifying herself in Christ and making herself worthy of becoming the house of God, as God wants all us human beings to become. Therefore we in the Orthodox Church honor the All-holy Mother of God above all the saints, albeit we don't accept the new dogma of her Immaculate Conception. The non-acceptance of this dogma in no way diminishes our love and veneration of the All-holy Mother of God.

Source

Then, the comments regarding the above quote on OrthodoxyToday get really interesting. Here's a few ...

Fr Hans Jacobse:

Fr. Thomas,

Actually the Patriarch is correct since the Immaculate Conception relies solely on Augustinian anthropology. The doctrine doesn't make sense otherwise. In fact, if you look at the theological rationale behind the doctrine at the time it was dogmatized, you find Augustinian thinking. The inheritability of "original guilt" is precisely why the "special grace" was necessary -- according to Catholic thought.

Again, Fr Jacobse:

The Immaculate Conception confers the salfivic "merits" of Christ onto Mary at the point of her conception to remove the "stain" of original sin. It's a cosmic transaction that takes place before the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ. See: The Catholic Encyclopedia.

This is Augustinian juridical soteriology, pure and simple.

Sadly -- and I've even met Roman Catholics who believe this -- many misunderstand and think the term "Immaculate Conception" refers to our Lord's birth. Wait! Come to think of it, I've got a Catholic icon of the Crucifixion whereon our Lord sports a blond mane. Hmmm.

[Here's the original posting -- with comments.]

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Folks. Believe me, as we progress within this Nativity Fast, unless you're allergic to shellfish, or good food, this one's a keeper. Really. From my wife's recipes. Trust me. It'll make you slap your Grandma.*

Sea Bean Chowder
3 c. dry beans or 3 cans
2 c. chopped onion
6 cloves minced garlic
1 32 oz container of Clamato Juice
1 c. white wine or sherry
1 bay leaf
1/2 tsp thyme
2 Tbsp chopped parsley (or 2 tsp dried)
1/4 c. fresh fennel, chopped (1/2 tsp crushed fennel seeds)
salt & pepper
1 16 oz jar chunky style salsa (medium)
1 10 oz jar whole baby clams
1 lb shrimp (cooked briefly and shelled)

Cook dried beans. Saute onion in oil. Add Clamato Juice, wine & all seasonings. Simmer a long time. Add to dry beans or add canned beans to this. 15 min before serving add shrimp, clams, undrained.

* It's just a phrase, "Make ya wanna slap yer Grandma." Like the exception that proves the rule, this is not actually recommended. But Sea Bean Chowder is that good.
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Thanksgiving break provided for some family camping at Garner State Park near Utopia, Texas, with a side trip to Lost Maples State Natural Area. Though not quite Appalachia, it's a far cry from Houston --


Boy likes to lead ...



Cameraman lags behind ...



You want colors? Get a load of them shirts!



Not bad ... not bad a'tall.



Baby Girl follows the leader ...



We were about a week or so beyond peak color ...



"I remember that old Frio River where I learned to swim.
And it brings to mind another time where I wore my welcome thin.
My transcendental meditation, I go there each night,
But I always come back to myself long before daylight." -- George Strait



The Frio was accessible, just behind our camp sight, down a steep grade.



Frio's hills silhouetted at sunset.


Old Baldy.


Old Baldy from one of the peaks (2,200 feet).



My kids referred to these as "hills" till they had to climb them.



Blue skies are, even in Houston, typical ...



... as is scraggly.



Hiking around the parks I couldn't help but remember all those cowboy movies I watched while growing up.



Looking down into Crystal Cave ...



Yikes! (Wait ... that's not Crystal Cave!)



Aha! There's Crystal Cave's uvula now ...



Boy and I ascended from the darkness ... fully expecting a scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark.



But, normally Texas acts normally.



Baby Girl making a list of all the things for which she's thankful, Thanksgiving day.



The kids had dubbed this rock formation "King Takatoka" -- bested here by Master B.



These two were dubbed by the Camerman "Lewis & Clark."




From mine to yours - Ta-ta for now!
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